just some thoughts

lately, i've been having trouble reconciling relationship between god and church. i've been doubting and struggling with the fact that they go hand in hand. missing my old faith. my blind faith, my sure-faith. exploring this makes some people uncomfortable, but when i cannot see a harmony with god and church, it makes me question the whole set-up and want:

to pull away.

to look for glimpses of hope in other places.

but today, i was refreshed, as people in my community shared stories. stories of grief. stories in which other people, broken people, stepped out of comfort and into dirty, messy, unwelcoming situations.

hearing story after story of people acting as much more than isolated beings, living life for only themselves. was encouraging. what i needed.

and i've decided, that even in this season of scattered and straggling faith, that living even in the periphery of jesus makes me better. it gives me hope when i get the privilege of seeing that people live outside of their own fascinations and pursuit of personal endeavors.

the best way to describe the peace that i'm feeling is that in the same way that a certain color of shirt can bring out a brighter, better color in your eyes; i feel that jesus can bring out that brighter and better, in us.